Chapter 14

I'm better--the initial shock of what has happened with my family seems to have worn off and now I'm merely wishing my relatives well and jumping at any source that has an update about the situation.

My brothers and I seem to have been left in the dark...then again, my grandparents basically disowned four out of the seven grandchildren they have (my two brothers, our cousin Alex, and me), so what else is new?

At any rate, they'll proceed with memorial services of some sort and move on, continuing to live in denial about their lives.

Nothing I can do about that.

On a lighter note, the rest of my life seems to finally be getting itself in order; I'm noticing subtle signs about things and building my self-confidence.  After all, a move to SoCal requires that one be fairly confident, yes?

I'm excited about the move, but also reasonably terrified at the same time.  As I should be, I suppose--if I wasn't, I would just be foolish, wouldn't I?

The more people I see that I've had some sort of relationship with, the more I almost yearn to inform them, but at the same time, I think I'd rather have everyone find out AFTER everything is all said and done.  Those who already know don't really seem that worked up about this massive change at all, therefore I don't see the point in telling any more of my former classmates.

I saw quite a few at the Lincoln High "LINKS" Marching Band Competition today--the majority were 2011 graduates, a couple from 2010, and then me, the lone 2009 person that decided to show up.  I know a fair few who are currently in the 2011-2012 Titan Marching Band, so catching up with them was much more likely than 2011 graduates that never really wanted anything to do with me in the first place.

One of those 2011 graduates just happened to be my ex-boyfriend.

We saw each other, I know that much.  I toyed with the thought of confronting him about what happened back in March, but in the end, like I always have, I kept everything to myself and focused my energy elsewhere.

This was not the place, nor the time for any sort of..."reconnection" with him.

He and I lingered near each other for brief periods of time, with me secretly catching glimpses of him, whereas he...well, I can only hope that he was doing the same.

As a human being, hope is an innate trait that consumes me--at times, I absolutely adore it, but during other times...it drives me insane.

I'm almost 100% positive that he'll never say anything to me.  Why would he even want to speak to me in the first place?

And, I'm pretty sure that there's a new girl in the picture--he's an attractive and intelligent young kid with an extremely bright future ahead of him--what girl wouldn't want him?